So This Is My Despair
by Sly Saki
Summary: (Reborn/Oc) Being reborn 5 times was not a great start but now... I'm starting to think maybe this time I will make the move but it wasn't me it was Orochimaru, who made the move. We're like pawns for our kings. [Alternative World]
1. Part one

The end

I can only see the scene replay over and over again. People screams, the smell of burning flesh, The fire that was burning up this battlefield. This so called war that was going to not end our legacy.

I never ever will become a ninja ever again. This so called "Honor" is stupid, my comrade have fallen because of the honor. Genins, Chunins, and Jonins linger on the floor lifeless, dead, and cold. There was no choices but to burn them.

I could recognize some faces in the pile of dead comrades. Kuniochi were to be rape if weak. For the first time, I've never felt intense sadness. For the first time, I wanted to die.

This war was cause by greed, envy, lust and various human emotions. We were so close to... so close to becoming true ninjas, we all promised that we were going to celebrate once the war was over...

I'm sorry Orochimaru...

/1/ Month

But... life just wouldn't leave me. I shouted, screamed at the endless abyss. until a white light ingulfed me.

It was a blurry sight, but familiar sound surrounded me. _mother..?_ I cried and cried and cried but the rocking was slow and smooth.

I feel asleep.

/4/ Years

I was running around, chasing bugs to use as experiment. I've think I'm becoming more like Orochimaru, Haha~ ironic isn't it?

But I don't want to become like that. I don't want to... die. I don't know what I really want anymore. but one thing I'm certain was...

Do I really have to become a ninja?

Do I an Aburame have to fight until I die? I tried to look back but will I even have my teammates back? Ha! I knew, I knew that the war was unavoidable.

I knew yet... I'm acting like I can change it. You can't change what was already done, I-

No. I'm going to go against the orders. against the laws. against the enemies. against everythings. That way... I can finall- I can't change anything.

This is too much. I'm getting tired. Sick of being reborn 5 times, only to die and die and die and die and die. Seeing the same scene replay over again.

I- "Kohaku?" I turned my head at the women voice, looking coldly at her, "What." She figeted around acting like a fragile girl.

"Kyyaaahhh~" She screamed, "Help! Kohaku is going to strip me!" Her fanboys ran to beat me up and whispered, "Are you alright?" to her. Such bullshit like that will kill her.

After all she's a person who cries wolf. But... Orochimaru jumped in the fight and saved me. This time, things went out differently.

It was not like my other alternative world, that repeats itself. Perhaps I can change the fate of my comrades. The war won't be prevented but I can save others from making the same mistakes again.

"Thank you."

Orochimaru nodded.


	2. Part two

The Beginning

Orochimaru P.O.V

I knew something was wrong when the most popular girl in our class went up to that Aburame. but what intrigued me was that, he didn't even looked like he had fallen in "love" with her.

I chuckled when he look at her coldly, "Hmm..." The smile on my face disappear when she shouted.

I clicked my tongue as the kids ran out the classroom to beat the Aburame boy up. "Disgusting." The Aburame boy didn't fought back, "Well... should I help him." I smirked.

As the stick flew at the Aburame boy, I slap it out of his way. "You're a nuisance." I narrowed my eyes at the girl and her lackeys. "Orochi~" She muttered slowly, "It's his fault! He tried to take my clothes off!"

"Do you think I didn't see what you did to him before you shouted?"

The girl stiffened. Then started to shake slowly, "Why? Why don't you call me by my own name?" The girl looked up at Orochimaru with tears.

"Why? Why should I remember your name? Give me a reason why?" The girl looked heartbroken from my answer.

"I-I like yo-"

"I don't."

She cried on her lackeys shoulder and ran away. 'Weak and pathetic.' I patted my clothes out from the dust.

"Thank you." The Aburame boy said.

I nodded, turning my head to look at him.

"Aburame Kohaku." The boy said. "Aburame Kohaku is my name if you want to know." His long black hair was covering his face and his glasses fell down on the ground.

I could only stared, unconsciously my hand went near his face and moved his hair a bit. My eyes widened from the shock.

He look just like a girl but the one thing off was his body. My heart move a beat, _Do I know him_?

A tiny blush was shown on my face, Kohaku opened his eyes revealing glassy purple eyes. I looked away, hiding my emotions that is going to burst out from my heart.

(-) /1/

 **"Quiet saddening, don't you think?**

(-) /1/

A strong wind blew, a single tear came down. _Do I know you?_ A sharp pain came from my head, "Ugh!" I clutched my head in pain.

A loud screeching sound was heard in my head.

(-) /2/

 **"Don't you think it is ironic that he's dead? Isn't that right Orochimaru."** **A familiar looking man said, "Come... don't you want to revive him?"**

(-) /2/

Kohaku grabbed onto Orochimaru as he fell down. Orochimaru could feel himself losing conscious, as he look at Kohaku.

(-) /3/

 **"I don't want to revive him." Orochimaru whispered a soft voice. "I want him to be with me."**

 **The man could only look, as he shooked his head, "Are you sure about that? You could change the future if you come with me."**

 **"Fu...ture? HAHAHA! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH! WITHOUT HIM! WITHOUT HIM I... don't want the future." Orochimaru voice trailed off, leaving a sad tone in his sentence.**

(-) /3/

"Hey! You kids, why are you skipping class huh?!" A male voice rang out from across the yard.

Kohaku looked at the teacher, making the teacher shivers at the cold look from those purple eyes.

"Help us, sensei."


	3. Part three

Uncovered Eyes

 ** _"Help us, sensei."_**

(-) /1/

The teacher shivered as he look at the boy eyes, _It feel like he knows everything about me._ The teacher thought as he pick Orochimaru up. As the teacher pick Orochimaru up he tried to help Kohaku up.

-Slap- "I could get up myself, thank you." Kohaku stood up patting dust out of his clothes. The teacher eyes widen as the color of purple turns brown from Kohaku eyes.

"I-Is that a jutsu-" Kohaku interrupted, "No, it isn't." The teacher sighed in relieved. _It isn't, but it's something I've gain along the journey_ Kohaku thought.

As the teacher took Orochimaru away, Kohaku walked home, to the Aburame estate.

(-) /2/

 **"You don't want the future?" The man glared, "Don't be stupid, you can bring him back yet you don't want him back?"**

 ** _What do you even want?_** **The sentences stands unnotices. Orochimaru could only hold the body of Kohaku looking distant.**

(-) /2/

Orochimaru opened his eyes from a sudden rush of memories of when he's older. _What was that? Do I know him?_

He then shook his head and looked around, it seems like he's at the nurse bed. "It seems like you're awaken now." a melodic voice ran through the room.

A medic kunoichi opened the blinds to only see her beautiful face. Perfect curves, perfect C cup boobs, and an ass to boot.

Orochimaru was immune to her and the most pretty girl in his class but Kohaku? it's impossible cause he clearly knew him but can't remember at all.

"I'm... urgh fin...e." Orochimaru groaned in pain. The nurse seductively lean down and whispered, "I can help you," She starts to rub on to Orchimaru groin, "I'll relieve you."

Orochimaru starts to pants and looked at her smirking, "Well... do your jobs nurse." The nurse unzipped Orochimaru pants and suc-

 **A/n: WOAHHH! YOU GUYS HOLD ON! This is only for next chapter!**


	4. Part four

**A/N: I'm NOT WRITING the smut scene yet.** **lol maybe an Omake will do for the smutting chapter.**

Imagine Dreams

Orochimaru woked up with the nurse next to him. "Tsk." How unnatural the nurse body was, it felt like she made herself into plastic.

 _Disgusting_ , Orochimaru thought. He got out the bed revealing his body part, he didn't care if people saw it or not. -thud- Orochimaru fell down onto the hard floor, shakely he grabbed onto the bed.

"Where are you going?" Orochimaru turned his head around to the nurse. "Away, away from you." The door slammed open to reveal the doctor.

The doctor grabbed orochimaru and sighed in relieved, He than slapped the nurse. "You disgusting vile whore!" The nurse frozed at the cold slap, "You dare TOUCH A NINJA IN TRAINING!".

"Wha-" Another slap contact her other cheek, "It's fine."

Orochimaru smirked/smiled, "Don't hurt her anymore sensei!" He grabbed onto the shirt of the doctor.

Then, the nurse noticed orochimaru planned this out. Orochimaru didn't care for _her_. Everything was chaotic, the nurse shouted and scream in a inhumane way.

"You can't do THAT TO ME?! I'M A MEDIC KUNOICHI!"

"I can, you whore."

The sound of broken glass and moving object was thrown onto the ground. Orochimaru smirked, _Idiots_.

After a few hours, Orochimaru was escorted out of the hospital.

Kohaku was there waiting for Orochimaru, "Are you _fine_?" Orochimaru was speechless and muttered, "I-I'm fine." Kohaku raised a brow at him.

Suddenly Orochimaru hands were grabbed by Kohaku, "You don't have to push yourself. Also here," Kohaku handed him a pouch of kunai, "This is my thank you gift for saving me."

Orochimaru could only feel himself blushing like a kid in love, _Damnit why him_?

Kohaku smiled at Orochimaru, "Hey... Want to hang out later? of course after you get out from the intelligence building." Orochimaru nodded.

"Great!" Kohaku let go of orochimaru hands and waved good bye. _What is happening to me?_ Orochimaru thought, _I've never acted this way before_.


End file.
